B e u l o g r a p h y

Having a whale of a time trying to figure out how my twitter, tumblr and Facebook are connected. Would love to learn how to say something on one and not have it do a viscious circle of death back and forth.

Just reminiscently read through my old short stories and poems tonight. Why on earth have I been limiting myself to songs when I love all forms of writing AND I tend to struggle with new chord progressions anyway? Man alive… I’ve been wasting a lot of time thinking that the only useful outlet for thoughts and ideas could possibly be music. I’m not going to stop writing tunes, lyrics and playing guitar because I have and always (feel like) I will enjoy it immensely. But I think that from now on I need to realise that there’s more to myself than making and appreciating music.

While I was at Uni, I read several fiction books a week and from what my computer files tell me, those three years of intense reading also encouraged a writing peek. The time when I wrote the most was when I was reading the most. It was also the time when I had deadlines and professors challenging me if I couldn’t comment on the last few chapters of ‘The Folded Leaf’ or something written by Kerouac or Mosley. I’m 24, and I’ve been lazy. I’m 2 years out of Uni and although I have about 8 months worth of travelling under my belt, for the leftover 17 months I only have a handful of worship songs, an even smaller handful of self indulgent same-chord strummy songs and a rare poem here or there. I used to write a short story every two weeks and even at that point I remember feeling like I could have done more. I spend a lot of time chilling, watching tv, hanging out with friends, listening to bad music (and great music), going running, eating and showering. Writing songs comes in waves, but the art of writing stories has been dormant in me for too long. I think I miss it. I definitely miss the challenge. And I’m going to be fairly rusty because I’m so out of the way of it all. But I’d like to get back to being a tad more driven and ambitious, both in reading and writing.

I start a youth internship scheme in Carnmoney Church come September this year which I am very excited about. At the same time I’ll be working a part time job to keep the money flowing (this I am less excited about, but money is money and the people I work with are lovely so I can’t complain). With the internship and the job on the go, I’ll have a lot less time to faff around and look at blank screens hoping words will type themselves. The lack of time could pull me away from writing altogether, or it could push me into making the most of the precious free time I have. Who knows?

I’ve prayed about all these things; some as recently as today while other prayers haven’t been as fresh. These things I do know: I love God, I love working with young people, I love writing, I love being creative and I love be able to appreciate other peoples’ creativity. Only God knows what He plans to do with all this stuff. I’m on a strictly need to know basis and I struggle with that sometimes. But it’s better if I don’t know the plan, otherwise I’d do my best to control it, fight to change things, and ruin the good that God intends for me and those around me through the passions and gifts He has placed in me. Anything I do accomplish this year is by His glory and for His glory. I can’t create a gift, all I can do is use what He has given me. I’m thankful that I have so many things to love. It’s exciting waiting to see which ones He wants me to zone in on this year (and the year after that etc.). I only hope that I don’t lose sight of what is important and that my perspective isn’t narrowed into thinking that the things I enjoy are mine to keep.